back there again

Nobody stopped thinking about those psychedelic experiences. Once you've been to some of those places, you think, "How can I get back there again but make it a little easier on myself?"

take me

Take me, I am the drug; take me, I am hallucinogenic.



the test

I was deeply asleep about five am when I heard an enormous knock at the front door of my house. With my eyes closed, I managed to open the door. I was immediately greeted and awakened to Keith's sense of humor. "What the fuck are you doing sleeping while we are working our asses off and just drove one hundred miles to visit you?" "OK, " I said, "I'm up. Just let me wash my face" and I grabbed orange juice for myself and handed a bottle of Jack Daniel's to Keith. At once he inserted a cassette in the deck of the stereo of some reggae music, at full blast of course, and it was party time. Within a few moment I asked Keith and Ronnie if they would care to join in a wake-up toast. I was holding in my hand a one-ounce bottle of Merck, went into the bedroom, reached for a painting framed in glass and decided to play a game of my own devising.

One of my biggest pleasures has always been the ritual of opening a sealed bottle of cocaine. Just looking at it staring at it, breaking the seal, I would get an instant rush euphoria. It was a bigger pleasure than actually consuming the cocaine itself. As I broke the seal I emptied on the glass two-thirds of the bottle. Then I prepared two equal piles of about eight grams each for Keith and myself and about four grams for Ronnie.

When completed I said the following to Keith: "Keith, I would like to test you. What kind of man you are," knowing very well he would stand up to any challenge. I made two lines grabbed a straw and with swift action snorted my share of eight grams. "Now let me see if you can do that." In my entire adult life I had never seen anyone indulging in a quantity of this magnitude. Keith looked, stared, grabbed the straw and duplicated my effort with no difficulties. I passed the four grams to Ronnie saying, "You are a junior. That's all you get. Do it." He did it.

Pharmaceutical cocaine cannot be compared in any way to cocaine produced in Central or South America. It is pure does not bring on depression or lethargy. A totally different type of euphoria one of creativity exists immediately when it is absorbed by the central nervous system. There are absolutely no withdrawal symptoms.

As I passed the line to Ronnie I was ready to hit the ceiling, an enormous rush. Oh shit, what a sensation. Absolutely nothing I knew of could compare. As I offered Ronnie his line those were the last words to come out of my mouth for the next six hours. We embarked on a journey to Woodstock. (Freddie Sesler)


Doctor Jekyll and Mister Hyde

'That an invalid in my husband's condition of health should have been able to perform the manual labour alone of putting 60,000 words on paper in six days, seems almost incredible.' - Fanny Stevenson

mental exaltation

"Which is it to-day?" I asked,--"morphine or cocaine?"

He raised his eyes languidly from the old black-letter volume which he had opened. "It is cocaine," he said,--"a seven-per- cent. solution. Would you care to try it?"

"No, indeed," I answered, brusquely. "My constitution has not got over the Afghan campaign yet. I cannot afford to throw any extra strain upon it."

He smiled at my vehemence. "Perhaps you are right, Watson," he said. "I suppose that its influence is physically a bad one. I find it, however, so transcendently stimulating and clarifying to the mind that its secondary action is a matter of small moment."

"But consider!" I said, earnestly. "Count the cost! Your brain may, as you say, be roused and excited, but it is a pathological and morbid process, which involves increased tissue-change and may at last leave a permanent weakness. You know, too, what a black reaction comes upon you. Surely the game is hardly worth the candle. Why should you, for a mere passing pleasure, risk the loss of those great powers with which you have been endowed? Remember that I speak not only as one comrade to another, but as a medical man to one for whose constitution he is to some extent answerable."

He did not seem offended. On the contrary, he put his finger- tips together and leaned his elbows on the arms of his chair, like one who has a relish for conversation.

"My mind," he said, "rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession,--or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world."


Psilocybin blackout


All my friends back in Tulsa were into burglary and armed robbery and did time in the penitentiary. Also my younger sister was now shooting. I went back two or three times and in 1968 I spent the summer with my friends and did pictures and 16mm film and tape recordings. I didn't do many pictures because there was so much dope around. We had more than you could shoot. We lived in an apartment with some girls who were prostitutes and then had some tricks who were doctors so we had everything from liquid amphetamine to morphine pharmaceutical. The police were hot on everybody and busted the door down a few times. I was arrested for weed in one bust and the police took my camera and film and recorder and tape. I got the recorder and camera back a year later abut they still have some film and tape. During that visit one of my friends got ten years and Billy had to leave town and everything was breaking and the girls had to leave town too. I didn't think I'd ever go back there again. (Larry Clark, April, 1971)


the candidate

"It is entirely conceivable—given the known effects of ibogaine—that Edmund Muskie's brain was almost paralyzed by hallucinations. He looked out at that crowd and saw gila monsters instead of people . . . his mind snapped completely when he felt something large and apparently vicious clawing at his legs."


back to the crossroads

You had to be with the right people when you were taking acid, otherwise beware. Brian on acid, for example, was a loose cannon. Either he'd be incredibly relaxed and funny or he'd be one of the cats that would lead you down the bad road when the good road closes. And suddenly you're going there down the street of paranoia. And on acid you can't really control it. Why am I going into his black dot? I just don't want to go there. Let's go back to the crossroads and see if the good road opens. I want to see that flock of birds again and have a few astounding ideas for playing and find the Lost Chord. The holy grail of music, very fashionable at the time. There were a lot of Pre-Raphaelites running around in velvet with scarves tied to their knees, like the Ornsby-Gores, looking for the Holy Grail, the Lost Court of King Arthur UFOs, and ley lines. (Keith Richards)


I had such a negative trip, a real paranoid journey of despair. It was over in a day, but little vents of hell went on opening for years afterward, as I gather they do. I don’t know, it sort of turned me against drugs. And then people started saying about an early novel of mine called Crystal World, which described a crystallizing world, going beyond time and space—ah, that book was written after your LSD trip. I said no, that’s not true actually, it was written before my LSD trip. It confirmed, I felt, that human imagination can achieve anything that drugs can achieve. So, I stick to my whiskey and soda. (J.G. Ballard)


medicine cabinets



Drug Notes Continued


Coded Language

Substance Mort

alchemy labs

"(inventor of mephedrone) Mr. Llewellyn's business is cruising along largely unimpeded. He and eight employees make drugs in a pair of "underground" labs—one in Holland and a new, $190,000 lab in Scotland. He hawks his wares online at www.alchemylabz.eu, taking payment by bank transfer. He advertises some of the drugs by their formal chemical name and some by nicknames like Euforia or XT. Mr. Llewellyn says he expects governments to catch wind of Nopaine soon and ban it. Anticipating the move, he says he's got dozens of other products ready to go, including a drug similar to the horse anesthetic Ketamine and something else he claims to be "the closest thing to Ecstasy that ever existed." By the time officials crack down, he says, "we are going to bring out something else."


do the right thing

"People – scientists and civilians alike – often associate intelligence with positive life outcomes. The fact that more intelligent individuals are more likely to consume alcohol, tobacco, and psychoactive drugs tampers this universally positive view of intelligence and intelligent individuals. Intelligent people don’t always do the right thing, only the evolutionarily novel thing."

- "Why Intelligent People Use More Drugs" (Psychology Today)

The Most Harmful

Alcohol 'more dangerous than crack, heroin and Ecstasy' (Daily Mail)