my name is russel harwick

i began this diary
as a record of my experiences
while suffering from alcoholism
i began drinking
when i was 14 moderately
at first on vacation
from school among friends.
by 15 i was suffering
from delerium tremens.
at 19 I found marijuana, hashish,
cocaine or heroin kept me off alcohol
for a limited time.
my pattern became a night marish
maze of shifting
addiction alcohol then drugs,
finally i was
introduced to hallucinogenics peyote,
psilocybin and l.s.d. 25
under the influence of peyote
i had a vision
i tried to forget it returning to drink.
but the memory haunted me

chappaqua (1966) conrad rooks

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